How Hockey Saved My Life, More or Less

Many years ago, more than half my life ago, a professional ice hockey player made some bad decisions and I was the recipient of them. There is no need to go into details. Your brain has already filled in the blanks -- and I have relived that night more times that I care to dwell on now.

This piece is not to spend time on the past, anyway. It’s a redemption piece, I can assure you.

For years, I tortured myself about that night, made stupid decisions based on my altered self-concept. I gave up hockey completely -- didn’t think about it, didn’t watch it, gave away all of my stuff. I look back on that decision and realize how many great moments I didn’t get to live first-hand as a fan due to it. Thank God for the mountain of video, audio and stills available that make up the lost time for me. It was the right thing for that time, and I stand by it. The hockey trigger was there, and I had no need to pull it and do myself any more harm.

Flash forward many years, to last year. A serious injury -- a fall resulting in a trimalleolar fracture of my left ankle -- kept me literally off my feet for 3 months. It was unreal. No weight-bearing on it for all of that time put the TV remote in my hands more than it should have been. However, those hours led me to find out that professional hockey had a lot more TV coverage than I had ever experienced in my early fandom years. I watched part of a game. Why? I guess that it was time.

It was the beginning of the 2016 Stanley Cup playoffs.I told myself that night, “I will watch this team until they are knocked out of the playoffs. Then, I’m done.” That team was the Pittsburgh Penguins and, if you follow hockey, you know that I had quite a few games and weeks of viewing pleasure. It was magical to reacquaint myself with a game that had thrilled me so many times. Games like “The Easter Epic” flooded back to my memory. Oh, my gosh! The amount of online content that I would pore over, the pain of seeing who had passed away since my hockey departure. The exhilaration of knowing how many decent dudes made good and had great careers and post-career successes.

That was one of the best parts of the experience, learning about who was playing the game today, and who was shaping the game for them. There are so many amazing people who play and coach this game. There are myriads of charitable organizations, so many humanitarian efforts -- so many hockey heroes. Two stand out of me, and affirm my decision to stay close to this game again.

Corey Hirsch, author of the “Dark, Dark, Dark, Dark, Dark, Dark, Dark, Dark” piece on The Players’ Tribune (https://www.theplayerstribune.com/corey-hirsch-dark-dark-dark/), moved me to tears. It’s too close to home. There’s more that I could say, but I choose not to do so. God, that was real, and spot on. I have no doubt that this man saved lives by writiing this.

Sheldon Kennedy is my other hero. His work to create Respect Certified, to protect the most vulnerable of us from really bad situations, chokes me up ( https://www.hockeycanada.ca/en-ca/Hockey-Programs/Community ). It’s brave to tell your story. It’s braver to help others not to suffer a similar fate, to make a difference.

So, let’s be clear. Bad things happened to me, but hockey didn’t do them. The NHL didn’t do them. A man, who happened to play hockey, did. I refuse to lose the game I love for lack of understanding that. Since reinitiating my fan status, I have lost 30 pounds, made a bunch of friends and care much better for myself than I have for some time. Thank you, hockey!

Now. . .let’s get this next game, Pens. Someone who loves this game will be watching.

-- ESM, 05/21/2017

Thinking Thursday: PSSA = American Idol (Not a Compliment)

Image: Microsoft Office images website

"Thinking Thursday" is an apropos category for today's post. I have been doing a lot of thinking about next week's PSSA tests, being given across Pennsylvania in its public elementary schools. I am thinking about the 4th grade math and reading assessments. I am thinking, and terribly concerned, about my son.

In our home, we expect everyone to give their best in the school setting. I do not think that makes us "standout" in any way. Are there many parents who do not ask for "your best work" in all aspects of life, both public and private? However, there is a point where the deck is stacked. There are times in life when you need to walk, or run, away from the overwhelming odds -- or at least bow out gracefully. This is how I feel about this whole school year for my son, but especially during such an ominous test as the PSSA.

My son has an anxiety disorder. He is coping quite well, most of the time. We work with doctors, with medication and with increased hope that his inner strength, sense of humor and overall wonderful nature will see him through the tough learning curve of teaching yourself to ignore your "brain tricks" and to remain calm and rational in the face of irrational or recurrent fear-laden thoughts. It is a daily battle for him, and me. Our support group is each other, and we are a pretty good team at helping one another through bad days and hard times. However, tests of any kind are hard on him, and I cannot take them away. Life has trials, and some of them involve a paper and pencil -- a lot more of them at his age. To be judged solely on what comes through on paper has yet, in the history of public education, to be proven as a true indicator of what students really know and can do in the real world situations that will confront them.

I am not against tests or testing. I am against a system that leans all too heavily on the results of the tests, and that does not see the child as an individual, with strengths and weaknesses that can be addressed and assessed in different formats, with more accurate results.

Let's cut to the chase with this: If my son does poorly next week, it's over for him. What do I mean by this? Simply put, he will lose the awesome placement he has in his Humanities class (reads with great comprehension, writes well and enjoys the work) for the next school year. Poof! Too bad that your score isn't meshing with your performance. Oh, well. Better luck next year. Of course, luck will have nothing to do with it, as he and I are nervous by nature. He won't do any better next time out, and the failure spiral will continue. I wonder how deep the rabbit hole will be on this one? Will I be begging him to "just finish high school, please"? What a wasted opportunity, if that is the case.

His STEM placement is already a foregone conclusion. The system gave up on him by the end of the first marking period in mathematics, so he's been sliding off the map for months now. I have tried -- begging and pleading and yelling and crying with the teachers. It has made little or no dent in preconceived notions of what can be done to alleviate the stress on both him and the instructors with whom he works. We have seen some "give", but too little and too late. If his (almost certain) lower mathematics score is part of this placement equation -- well, I fear where he ends up in the system next year.

Has public school become American Idol? My children and I enjoy watching the singers compete on this show each week, but I would not dream that this would be a workable model for a school setting:

Let's pit student against student for placement in this or that homeroom. Now, GO! Color in those dots, kiddos. It's important, REALLY important that you do well. If American doesn't call in for you, you go home. Well, by "home" we mean something not so nice as home: to the back of the classroom, to the end of the educational highway. We're really sorry about all of this, but it IS a singing competition.

Woah. Hold on, there. This is NOT a singing competition. This is not even supposed to be a competition at all. This is one of those rare, shiny places where we are all supposed to get a chance to succeed. I am not naive enough to believe that this is how it works out for all students, but the model should not be built to break down for all but one, like an elimination round on Idol.

Considering the constant mention of these tests at every possible moment at school for some time now, I am stressed -- and I don't have to color in those little bubbles with pinpoint accuracy next week. I remember the way it feels to take those kinds of assessments, and I was good at them. I scored well, every time. As such, it was a "fun game" to me. The fact that I saw it as that, even at a young age, should be a warning sign to any and all who think it gives the keys to All Things Important to Know About This Student. It's one of many "games" we play at school, and plenty of students lose, and lose big. I have recently read an article by an English professor who is conscientiously objecting to the PSSA model entirely, and keeping her son out of next week's tests. I was not aware that this was even an option for us, which should show you how much I "buy in" to public schools. I didn't even consider removing him from school. School is where young people grow and develop to be independent critical thinkers, lifelong learners and social beings. We need good public schools. I believe that we have many good teachers in them. However, even good teachers are handcuffed by a network of scores and charts and test results driving the bus. I thought that the students' needs -- and well-written curriculum -- fueled the bus, driven by the teacher. As he or she is a thinking, caring individual, the trip should be worth taking. It certainly should not feel scary, or unpredictable to the student, forced to be a passenger on an itinerary not of their choosing. Let us hope -- as I have established that I am a worrier by nature -- that this is just a "brain trick" on my part. It is sad that this is where I hang my hope this week.

If you have an opinion on the PSSA tests, on standardized testing in general, or on the way that STEM and Humanities placement is determined in schools, I would appreciate it if you would post a comment about it below.

Fun Friday: Use Your Words!

DROP everything and read. . .or play with words (image from Dropwords, Kindle app)

I won't even attempt to recall how many times I uttered, muttered and moaned, "Use your words!" to my children when they were younger. Not one who really enjoyed those tantrum-ridden days, I just wanted everyone in the house to be completely verbal. Let's talk it out. Well, I certainly got my wish, as my children, my husband and I are (how to be polite about this. . .) extremely effusive and verbose. It's rare that there is silence, and frequently a traffic jam of ideas are being expressed. I feel now that I should be saying, "Use your words, but please take a number and wait in the queue."

Why all of this rambling about words? My friends, it is the weekend, and time to kick back and do that "be good to yourself" routine. I mean it. Read for an hour. Play with words.

There are certainly many ways to have fun with words, and you may already have a few diehard favorites. I recently purchased a Kindle Fire HD and, while I love a "real" book and my puzzle magazines, there are times when I am glued to my Kindle. This is actually a good thing,  as I get to de-stress, engage in some critical thinking and come up with lesson ideas all at once -- a nice multi-tasking moment.

image by Mohsin Hijazee, Open Clip Art Library

Below are 3 ways to play with your Kindle this weekend:

1.) Download an e-book and read it.
I know that this is an OBVIOUS one, but how often do you allow yourself the luxury of a good, long browse through the online offerings, download something and enjoy it right away? After all, that is the beauty of an e-reader -- instant gratification, even if the local book store is closed for the night. I am a big fan of British literature of the late 19th and early 20th century, so many of my "meant to read that" titles are now free. It's a great way to unwind on a Friday night.

2. Play something in the ". . .with Friends" Trilogy.
I don't like downloading dozens of games to my device. They just clutter things up and occupy space that could be better used (by downloading more books, for example). However, I get quite lost in playing "Scramble with Friends", one of the 3 Zynga "with Friends" games (along with "Hanging" and "Words"). Each game is very similar to a game you already know: "Scramble" is like Boggle, "Hanging" is akin to Hangman and "Words" is basically Scrabble. I find that it really relaxes me to think about words in a fun way after a long day.

Scramble with Friends, by Zynga Games

3. Download a new word game and give it a try.

Amazon.com has a free Download of the Day for the Kindle, and I have found some really great apps that way. Also, searching on key words (such as the title of another word game that you already play) will help you to stumble upon some great games. I have just downloaded 2 games (both free) for the weekend: Jumbline 2 (free version, can upgrade to pay version with more features) and Dropwords. I like to keep my word play fresh and, by changing a few rules in the game, each "make a word" game causes you to think a little differently about word structure, meanings, parts of speech and other word properties (i.e. prefixes, suffixes).

It is hard for someone who teachers not to see classroom activity potential in word games. Whether practice spelling patterns, base words and affixes or building stronger vocabularies, there are many ways in which your weekend fun can turn into a rewarding and enjoyable lesson for you and your students.

Thinking Thursday: Car Trouble

All that I am thinking about right now is that I wish that my car hadn't acted up today. I apologize for the "no post", but catch me next week: same time, same channel. :)

Tomorrow is Fun Friday, though, so we can conjure up something good to start the weekend, I'm sure.

Wacky Wednesday: Falling in Love Again

If you read yesterday's post, you know that it started with a Wordle image of some Saint Patrick's Day words. Have you played with Wordle yet? This is one of those online Web 2.0 goodies that I simply forgot about for a time -- but was quickly hooked again once I tinkered with it recently. With Wordle, you can type (or copy/paste) a body of text into its word creation generator and -- poof! -- it's art! You can then alter colors, fonts and word orientation. You can also enter a URL, and it will automatically generate a Wordle image from the words found there:

 If a word is used with more frequency, it will be larger than the other words (think of a word cloud generated from tags in the sidebar of your favorite blog -- bigger means it appears more often). Below is a Wordle created from the home page of my blog, Fueled by Anthracite:

I find that creating a Wordle, then putting it on an interactive white board, is a great way to analyze what was important to the author writing the piece, and what comprised its main idea and themes. It would make a great reflection piece in a school journal, or a way to start a critique of a piece of writing in a classroom.

Tagxedo also offers free online word cloud creation, and their service offers even more customization options. You can randomly select options (i.e. font, color), with up to 3 fonts displaying at a time, or put in more specific customizations (quite a few advanced choices). Also, you can click on the "twist" arrow icon, and have it generate a new look with your current options. The shape options feature of this application makes it extra fun, and extends the creativity in a whole new direction:

Can you guess what is being quoted above? (Think: post title) It's the lyrics to "Falling in Love Again" by Marlena Dietrich. Here's another:

This is the famous "It is a far, far better thing. . ." quote spoken by Sydney Carton in A Tale of Two Cities. If creating fab Dickens art isn't enough of a draw for you (as it was for ME . . . you should see my desktop!), there are easily 101 ways that you can use Tagxedo. Tagxedo also has an online shop (through Zazzle) with previously created word cloud creations. My mind is already popping with great ideas for gifts -- and with wonderful lesson plans -- using online cloud creation tools. What have you done, or intend to do, with Wordle and Tagxedo? Please add a comment below and let us know.

Terrific Tuesday: Can You Spell "Shilelagh"?

St. Patrick's Day words, a la Wordle

I cannot say that I have ever needed to spell the word "shilelagh" until today's post. However, I consider myself a good speller, and have enjoyed learning new words, and spelling them well, for as long as I can remember reading or writing at all.

A little spelling practice never hurt anyone, though, and SpellingCity is a great place to visit when you want to practice your list in a fun way. After creating your teacher login account, you can begin to really harness this website, as your specialized lists (i.e. Words Their Way sorts, holiday words, subject area terminology) can be added. (Note: There are pre-made lists and teacher resources available, as well.) Students can sign in to your individual homepage at SpellingCity (visit my homepage to see how they appear to your students), and get started on working with your lists. Students can practice writing the words on computer-generated worksheets, alphabetize their list and even take a practice test online:

Beyond offering online practice and testing options , entertaining games are available. HangMouse (just like Hangman) is one of my favorites:

There are more games and features at SpellingCity, and the option to purchase a premium membership is also available. Explore and enjoy the word fun yourself.

Math Monday: Shamrock Math

Perhaps it was the (slightly) warmer weather, but my thoughts have beent thinking about all things spring today. I have begun photographing my St. Patrick's Day craft items, and they will be available at my TpT store by Saint Patrick's Day. For now, here are some sewn shamrocks (.png files) of various sizes, for use in your next Shamrock Math interactive whiteboard lesson, presentation or newsletter:

While searching for math Web offerings, I found some nice St. Patrick's Day-inspired worksheet options at Math-Drills.com. Addition practice sheets are available:

After completing the worksheet, students could be asked to circle problems (in green, of course!) where they did not regroup, or have even-numbered sums, or another rule that they provide. Money math addition problems are available, as well:

I like that you are given room to show your work on this particular worksheet. Especially when a skill is relatively new, encouraging pencil and paper method allows students to see their error pattern when wrong, and it aids them when explaining how they arrived at their answer in post-worksheet reflection activities. The students would also enjoy getting their own "leprechaun's gold" or "good luck clover coins" and creating word problems about how much money (could use mixed operations to do this) their leprechauns have to share. Coins could be earned by students for accurate work, getting work in on time or whatever classroom skills need to be reinforced. They could then be redeemed for pencils and erasers -- 2 school supplies that always seem in short supply by springtime!

If multiplication facts is becoming a snooze for your classroom, sprinkle some gold on them (also from Math-Drills.com):

If a particular multiplication table (i.e. 7x, 8x) is proving troublesome, have students create their own St. Patrick's Day flashcards for those problems using Google Drive. To make the cards more festive, consider using copyright-free images from CC (Creative Commons) Search (keyword "clover" gives pretty good results). These activities are sure to put some spring into your math drill and skill time.